Gratitude and Appreciation Have a Positive Impact on Relationships

Another major area of study involving the benefits of gratitude surrounds the impact it has on our relationships with others. This area is not limited to romantic relationships, and I will talk a little bit about both areas in this post. 

Scientists have coined the term ‘Losada ratio’ to measure the ratio of positive expressions

​(encouragement, and appreciation) to the number of negative emotions (disapproval, sarcasm, ​​cynicism) in married partners. A study found that the more satisfied and longer-lasting marriages were those with a positivity Losada ratio above 5.1 (five positive expressions to each negative). This study clearly shows the impact that reoccurring positive affirmations and acts of genuine gratitude can have on a romantic relationship.

In terms of general relationships, both positive and negative social bonding, which occurs through most everyday interactions, also can improve our happiness and level of overall contentment. This has to do with our levels of oxytocin, as I explained last week oxytocin levels can increase by expressing and experiencing gratitude and appreciation. Consequently, helping us experience a sense of happiness.

Perceived Partner Responsiveness underlies relational intimacy and is associated with feeling understood, accepted and cared for. It is also a crucial situational trigger for feeling gratitude upon receipt of a benefit, which in turn generally elicits a response from the receiving party to reciprocate similar gives. In simpler terms, it means that the receipt of gratitude is a stimulant to give gratitude, as it results in the receiver feeling more valued and appreciated.

​A hugely important factor in establishing positive, healthy relationships both with oneself and with others is emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, control and express one’s emotions, and be able to handle relationships in an empathetic and conscious way.

​When it comes to gratitude, emotional intelligence is vital as it helps us to be aware of when a relationship or situation requires or could benefit from the introduction of gratitude, or some other emotion. For example, when a child is being bluntly honest about some aspect of his parent’s private life in front of friends, he is not emotionally aware enough to realize the feeling of embarrassment this might cause.

This is a basic example, as emotional intelligence stems much further than a child’s ignorance. Once we reach adulthood, a lack of emotional intelligence can begin to cause problems in our relationships on both a work and private level, generally manifesting in high instances of miscommunication, misunderstanding, and a lack of ability to discuss or understand difficult emotions or situations. In Western society, this can mainly be observed as the unwillingness to discuss pressing issues on account of the discomfort or ‘upset’ they might cause. Instead of minimizing the issues, however, this contributes to their growth and quiet empowerment

​For gratitude to have a positive impact, a person must first become aware of their emotional environment and how they interact with it. Having a baseline understanding of why and how feelings arise when they do, what habits have been learned or cultivated as a reaction to this or as a means of dealing with them, and knowing where change needs to (or doesn’t need) to take place is all emotional intelligence skills.

The good news is that it’s been proven that increasing gratitude can contribute to overall heightened emotional intelligence, as it calls into question the baseline awareness of emotions and how they impact any given situation. For instance, asking ‘am I grateful?’ or ‘am I ungrateful?’ opens up the inner emotional dialogue causing us to pause and assess our feelings honestly before acting and expressing

​I have homework for you, this week, test how gratitude can have a positive impact your relationships by appreciating at least 3 people every day, it could be family members, spouse, friends, coworkers, even people you don’t but came across during the day. Most people enjoy receiving verbal appreciation. But written notes are also nice because they can be saved and re-read. 

Remember, I'm always here to help. If you have any questions email me at ContactToni@drToniCamacho.com

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Dr. Toni Camacho, HHP, RH
Best-selling Author and Health and Success Coach
ContactToni@drToniCamacho.com
www.drToniCamacho.com