Open Communication and Active Listening are the Key to Long Lasting Relationships

I hope you had a loving and fun Valentines' day, putting all the marketing schemes and the superficial part of this day aside (the flowers, chocolates, dates, etc). This day can serve as a great opportunity to remind us of the importance of our loved ones to our lives. Not just romantic partners but our friends and family too. It can also serve as a good reminder to be 

compassionate, loving and understanding to everyone around us. And all of this starts with good and loving communication.

Communicating is unquestionably important, but also very difficult, especially in committed relationships. When you truly care about someone, but you have a difficult topic you want to discuss, sometimes it seems as though it would be easier to simply ignore the issue or put it off in the attempt to avoid discomfort.

In reality, important conversations are crucial for bringing people closer together and strengthening a relationship for the long run.

Here are some suggestions to help you become a better communicator:

• Don’t bring up serious topics at inappropriate times – instead, make a plan to speak at a specific time so that both parties are properly prepared to discuss. Also, don’t start the conversation when you feel mad, wait until you’re in a calm state of mind.

• Be honest and come prepared. Take a few minutes to list out everything you want to discuss so that you can put everything on the table. You don’t want to walk away from a conversation feeling like there are still things left to discuss.

To have a meaningful and productive conversation it is also important to be present and truly listen to what others have to say to us. Oftentimes, we listen to respond, instead of listening to actually listen. Enter, active listening.

During active listening, you make a conscious effort to hear not just the words being spoken by your loved ones, but the message being communicated. Let’s walk through it a bit...

• Non-active listeners might focus on specific wording or vocabulary choice instead of understanding the overall context of what the person is trying to say.

• Non-active listeners won’t take body language into account, or other small nuances that can really portray what a person is feeling.

• Active listeners provide proactive feedback. “When you say ___, could you be more specific?” Or, “So it sounds like you’re saying ____. Is that correct?”

Active listeners show that they’re listening, by checking their posture, nodding occasionally, and maintaining eye contact.

Based on these examples, do you feel as though you’re an active listener? Your challenge today is to practice active listening with everyone you speak to today.

​Remember, I'm always here to help, send me an email if you have questions on communication and active listening at Toni@drToniCamacho.com 

Happy Monday!
​Toni